TOP 8 IMPORTANT POINTS TO CONSIDER WHEN EVALUATING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Being in a relationship is one thing and being in a healthy relationship is another .Who wants to get involved in something that doesn’t improve him or her; am sure no one wants to start a project which will not be beneficial in the long run.
Your relationship must improve you one way or the other; it depends solely on you if its a positive improvement or negative one.Your relationship just like a project must be defined and beneficial otherwise it is not worth it.Do not get me wrong, a relationship being beneficial is not all about the financial gain; it has to be about the values a partner is adding to the other person’s life.
How do I know if my relationship has been beneficial, how do I know if I want to continue with my partner, when should I think about taking a walk?.The simple answer is evaluation.
I believe so much in evaluation especially when it has to deal with personal happenings that directly affects us; it gives an insight into what has been done, what shouldn’t have been done and what should have been done.Evaluation is a powerful tool that should never be ignored especially when it has to do with our relationship.
Come with me as I take you through a couple of points which you need to consider while evaluating your relationship;
1. IS YOUR PARTNER YOUR BEST FRIEND: Life Is all about friendship.I think the number recipe to every successful relationship is friendship.
Come to think of it, two different people from different background and upbringing coming together could be disastrous due to personality issues; arguments will occur, misunderstanding abounds.You will definitely get on each other’s nerves,non-talking days will arise; there be days your partner will get you pissed and you begin to wonder what you saw in him/her and you want to give up but your friendship level will always bring you guys back together.
2. DO YOU COMPLETELY TRUST YOUR PARTNER: Please note that I said completely trust your partner, trust is a powerful tool in a relationship and it just doesn’t happen overnight; it is a build up of events.
Can your partner tell you the colour of an object is white while your eyes are shut and you actually see a white colour and not black when your eyes are open? Your partner has been out all night and your mind is racing when you begin to imagine what he could be up to; is this even a healthy emotion? Can you take your partner’s word to the bank and back?
3. IS SACRIFICE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP ONE-SIDED: Sacrifices in relationship is inevitable and shouldn’t be frowned at; there is absolutely nothing wrong in partners making sacrifices.It shows the level of growth in the relationship.
However, sacrifice becomes a big issue when it is coming from only one side of the relationship.It leaves the person making the sacrifices with a feeling of being used and exploited.
Let’s think about it, put yourself in their shoes; am sure you would feel as though you are forcing yourself on an individual who never goes out of his ways to make simple sacrifices.
4. DOES YOUR PARTNER ACCEPT YOU: Love and acceptance just like sacrifice should be reciprocated. Why on earth would you even want to be with a person who doesn’t accept you with all your faults and shortcomings; why would you date a person whose imperfections and shortcomings you can’t stand?
When you or your partner settle for each other because there was no better option, you are doing yourselves a great injustice.A relationship despite it challenges should have its fun and happy times; when yours is always gloomy because you can’t stand each other, I think you should have a rethink.
5. CAN YOU SAY YOU HAVE BOTH FALLEN IN LOVE: Every relationship starts with an attraction and admiration; you could find something you admire about each other and both decided to tow the line of your admiration and attraction for each other, it necessarily doesn’t have to be a love-at-first-sight affair (if there is a thing like that by the way),this could lead to the both of you or only one of you falling in love.
Love is a beautiful emotion and it sustains a relationship.Falling in love is a great thing but even greater when expressed.You can’t claim to love your partner and treat them like trash; a partner that loves you will strive to make you feel special and appreciated.
6. ARE YOU SATISFIED WITH YOUR LEVEL OF INTIMACY: Intimacy should never be Overlooked when thinking towards a healthy relationship.
Your level of intimacy has a lot to say about the level of growth that your relationship has experienced. Can you let your guards down and be sure that your partner has got your back? How well do you share in each other’s feelings? How well do you relate to whatever your partner is passing through? Have you got to that level where you partner can feel your hurts and pains?
Is he your support system when life takes a negative turn? Can you be there for him at his lowest?.These are important questions that you need sincere answers.
7. IS YOUR PARTNER YOUR BIGGEST SUPPORTER: Why do you think football clubs and countries spend a lot on their supporters club? They realize the boost their players get when they see their fans cheering them to victory.
Now, imagine how you would feel if your partner is your number one fan who totally believes in you and your abilities no matter the situation, imagine the feeling of being able to conquer all when your partner continuously encourages you.If you are with a partner that mocks you when you fail; you have no reason being in such relationship.It is toxic.
8. HAVE YOU SEEN EACH OTHER AT YOUR BEST AND WORST: Someone once told me that one of the best time to know the real nature of an individual is when they are angry and when life throws some challenges at them.
How does your partner get when he/she is angry? Is he violent? Does he disrespect you when angry.Is he/she the type who has a grip on his temper or he readily loses it.
Perhaps, your partner is the type who sucks and never apologizes even when wrong.You need to determine if this attitude is what you can put up with.
Do not forget, you and partner need to be best of friends to get the best out of your relationship, trust should be established and nurtured.Never run away from sacrifices; it’s a sure way to show love, God himself demonstrated this.Love one another and accept each other no matter your shortcomings.
Intimacy is not only sexual; the greatest form of intimacy is the ability to feel your partner’s hurt and pains and the ability to share your past experiences with your partner without being judged.
In conclusion, no relationship is perfect but every relationship needs evaluation from time to time, if you need to get insights and clarity about your relationship; no better person but you can determine what you want and what you can put up with.Your relationship should improve you one way or another.
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