You were so much in love; she meant the world to you, you have often said life without her is very incomplete.You have imagined living without him and you came to a conclusion that living without him is like bringing a fish out of the water to live on a dry land, you knew living without him is like trying to live with no air .Alas,it all came crashing down like a pack of cards .She hurt you so bad and shattered your heart into pieces; he did what you never imagined he would and was never sorry but instead sent you to hell.
    Now you are stucked, how do you do without the one person that meant everything.You know it’s in the past and would like to move on but you are finding it so difficult to do so.
    You miss her presence; you yearn for her company, you are dying to hear her voice again and therefore decided to call her….it felt good again to hear that soothing voice.You convinced yourself that it went well and want to keep the lines of communication open; it’s just a phone thing afterall, it’s not a big deal.

Hello, did I hear you say you want to get over her and move on? You want to get a fresh start and you keep on communicating with her just like it has always been, isn’t that contradicting oneself?


   Ever wondered why relationship therapists often advice couples to keep communication alive and the lines of communication open? Well, that is because communication is a glue that holds a relationship together. Yes, you are doing exactly that; holding on to an ex whom you should let go of.

Consider the following reasons and see why it’s necessary to cut off all forms of communication with your past relationship;

1.TO COME OUT BETTER THAN YOU WERE: You are hurting, it’s natural to hurt after calling it quits with someone who was so special.Hurt as much as you want but learn something. It is times like this that you should take a moment to review and assess what happened why it all ended. You will get the push to call and there is a voice that keeps saying call for the last to hear her voice…and trust the call her once again for the last time will never end. Why not channel that calling energy to discovering a new hobby,get angry over the heartbreak and hurt that she is causing you and allow the anger should push you to be better and improve yourself instead of holding on to something/someone that was in the past,

2. TO GRIEVE AND HEAL: You are sad, hurt, angry and maybe disappointed;Talk about the regret and wishes. These are natural emotions of a breakup which you need to overcome, holding on to the person through communication and hoping to get back together may hurt you more .Accept the fact that it’s time to let go, cry if you want but cut off communication as it only allows the hold they have on you linger than necessary.


3 .TO EMOTIONALLY DISCOVER YOURSELF: Have you ever asked yourself what next after a breakup? What are the lessons learnt?.The days after a breakup should be channeled towards discovering and identifying your relationship needs and values.Doing this will improve your opinion of what being in a relationship entails; this cannot be achieved if you keep communicating with an ex.

4. TO GET READY FOR A NEW RELATIONSHIP: Your relationship with your ex didn’t work out for some reasons, doesn’t matter if you guys were so in love and very emotionally connected. You need to accept that is over and do yourself some good; get up, move on and stop dragging your foot .
     Communication with your past will definitely affect your finding love again and when you do, you won’t be fully committed because a part of you  is still involved with your ex and this is not fair to the new person in your life.
5. IT ERODES YOUR PARTNER’S TRUST: You finally decided to start a new relationship but you find yourself still contacting your ex, you can’t just control the urge to continue your old ways of communication with her. You need to stop this, it’s not being fair to the new person in your life, it breaks trust in your new relationship. Stop giving the present person in your life the impression that you still crave your ex, that is the beginning of trust issues in your relationship.Do not allow it.


In conclusion, you need to regain your sanity after a break up, stop clinging on to the person. You just might start to idolize your ex and start seeking for her and her qualities in your new relationship; this makes it impossible to have a good and healthy relationship.Let go of the memories and leave your ex in the past.Learn from the experience.

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