Relationships are filled with the high moments and low moments;one moment you are all over the moon and feel so much in love but the next moment you notice the euphoric feelings dwindling away and you begin to wonder what went wrong.
There will always be reasons to tend to blame yourself or your partner;how can something that felt so good,so genuine become so cold and distant.The guilt starts setting in,you wonder what it is that you did or perhaps what it is that you didn’t do.
But is it unusual that to feel this way;so distant and so out of love?
It happens to some of the ‘best’ relationships out there;it is a phase that every relationship passes through at one point or the other.
As ineveitable as these things are,they are preventable

I need you to understand that at a point in every relationship,there will be a stage that the relationship becomes so strained.Oftentimes than none we may have contributed to this happening.Every relationship needs some form of commitment to make it work;commitment that would have helped lessen the effect that the not-so-in-love stage presents.
So why does this happen,why do i feel this way,where did the spark go,am i truly happy being with this person? These are probably some of the many questions you are struggling to find definitive answers to.
To be honest,you already noticed there exists loop-holes in the relationship and something doesn’t seem right;noticing it is a step but trying to understand what could have led to it is another step that could help to proffer solutions. Knowing the reasons also helps to guard against a major re-occurence of the way you presently feel.
1. THE FAULTY FOUNDATION: What brought you and your partner together in the first place;was it a spur of the moment thing? Was it love at first sight? I have a problem with love at first sight( not saying it doesn’t exist) but in my own opinion what you both felt for each other at first sight is probably attraction which may be based on looks and personality.It takes getting to know each other for genuine to grow.
Now,deciding to go into a romantic relationship based on the fact that you both felt an intense attraction towards each other on the first meeting is setting off on a wrong note.

2. THE REBOUND EFFECT:This is similar to the relationship built on a fragile foundation.Heart-breaks are some of the defining events in an individuals life;it has the effect of setting so many aback if not properly handled. You are hurting from getting out of a relationship and the time needed to have a selah moment to access what led to the break-up and heal from the wounds sustained therein should never be used to rush into another relationship.
Oftentimes, i hear people saying the best time to get into a new relationship is immediately after a break up; I understand that feeling of not wanting to be alone but bear in mind that a broken heart can never love again almost immediately.Matters of the heart takes time.Give yourself some time to heal,rebounds are never healthy.

3. THE DAILY ROUTINE:The problem with doing the same thing everyday is that it makes you feel stifled;this is a red flag to boredom.When the next line of action becomes predictable,it takes away the excitement in every relationship;you know what you are going to do with and for each other,this totally takes away the fun.
When there is no looking forward to new things in a relationship,partners feel choked up and tend to want to loose free and explore better options.

4. BETTER PROSPECTS: This happens as a result of your relationship becoming so predictable;you look around you and all you see and think of are better dating opportunities out there.You envy the affection and spontaneity that exists in some other relationships and continually wish this could be yours. You meet a new super sexy partner and you are instantly drawn to the person and you begin to imagine what it will feel like being in a relationship with your new interest,Does it mean you never loved your partner?NO.
It only goes to show that as humans we desire the best and strive to have it by all means.
5. COMMUNICATION: Communication in a relationship is the life of the relationship and when partners stop having meaningful communication the relationship begins to die;do you feel like you keep on talking about the same things over and over again and your partner doesn’t ever pay attention and you are getting tired of complaining? Perhaps you or you partner just feels some aspects of your relationship is not worth talking about because you feel it’s less important.
This is a bad attitude towards communication; do not forget that little things actually counts and they could make or mar your relationship.

6.SEX BECOMES BORING: It is well known that after sometime together sex becomes predictable;this is truthfully annoying when you can predict how long and how well the sex can go.But that doesn’t mean you can’t bring back the passion in bed and make your sex life a steamy affair. Sex should be fun but if rather than looking forward to a sizzling sex you derive more pleasure in avoiding it.
Then there is a problem,Boredom has totally set in.

7. MEMORIES SHARED TOGETHER: Another major point that should never be ignored in a relationship are the memories shared together. Memories are the life-line of a relationship and partners should continue making memories.

There will be times that your partner will do some annoyingly unimaginative things and tempers are flared up and there is anger in the air;you just get fed up and want to end it all.This is where the good memories you’ve both shared comes into place;memories have a way of making us smile and it softens even the hardest of souls.
Now,imagine if there were no memories? If you stop creating exciting and fond memories,you’ll have nothing that makes your relationship feel special and fulfilling.

8.SPONTANEITY: Who said love has to conform to a set of rules? Planning your life together and taking steps to make each other happy is welcome but it doesn’t hurt to set yourself loose and do some crazy and spontaneous things every now and then.
Remember how you feel doing a routine same way everyday? Yea,that’s exactly what becomes obtainable when spontaneity is missing in your relationship.

9. EMOTIONAL CHEATING: The problem about emotional cheating is you do it without knowing,remember i talked about communication in a relationship? Do you feel more at ease discussing your problems with a colleague at work or with a close friend of the opposite sex rather than with your partner? You are creating more disconnect and unless you find a way to talk it out with your partner,that strain and boredom will always exist.

10. YOU ARE LOST IN THE RELATIONSHIP: Commitment in a relationship is extremely important but shouldn’t be at the expense of loosing your essence of living.You know the problem with living your life through the eyes of your partner? You feel restricted.
If you need to give up your life just to spend more time with your partner,you will always feel stifled and more like you have lost your will-power.There will always come a time you want to break free and have your own time;this alone leads to resentment and create boredom.
In retrospect,relationships are hard-work and you only get back what you put into it;boredom may set in every now and then but your attitude to dealing with it goes a long way to determine how successful your relationship becomes.
Stay tuned to this page as we talk about ways of bringing back the spark in your relationship.
In the meantime,have you ever had an experience that made you almost give up on your relationship? Or did you give up and wished you never did? We are all open to learning,you never can tell your experience might just be what another person needs to save their own relationship.
We would love to hear from you.Talk to us.

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