Is Lack Of Finance Enough Reason To Remain In An Abusive Marriage?‏


Domestic violence, a form of behaviour involving violence or abuse by one person against the other is not limited to physical battery alone.It could be emotional, verbal, blackmail or even sexual.

ABUSER BELIEVES IT IS ACCEPTABLE /JUSTIFIED:Abusers usually back their actions up by saying their partners did wrong and needed to be corrected.
THE ABUSER STILL HOLDS ON: Our culture in Africa doesn’t encourage women to leave an abusive marriage, the thought of how they will cope and the shame and mockery they will receive from so called friends d’s and family members alone discourage women from taking that decision.
THE CHILDREN ARE MOSTLY AFFECTED:Children that grow up in an abusive home where the father constantly abuse their mother end up with the wrong mentality about dating and marriage. .
The boys grow up with the mindset that is only through beating a woman that you can get her to be submissive, the girls on the other hand believes that no matter how bad their men treat them, no matter how much he humiliates them, no matter how often he hits them,they must endure because of the mentality of”it is a woman that makes a marriage work” .
Children that grow up under these type of caustic environment generally tend to exhibit violent behaviour even at a very you g age.They bully their mates in school.
LOWERS SELF ESTEEM:Constant beating/abuse on a woman by her partner lowers her self worth, she is weakened, feels worthless and defeated.

After reading all these facts, then you wonder why women still stay in such relationship, could it be because they don’t have the finances especially in a married woman’s case who has got children.
Personally, I don’t think that’s enough reason to stay in an abusive marriage. We have heard cases of working class ladies who support the family, whose husbands collect their salary from them as soon as they get paid.She bears all the financial responsibilities in the house meant for a man and that same man still beat her and atimes ends up killing her.

Women marriage is good but if he starts abusing you , it’s time to cry out for help.

Do you have more to say about this topic? Do you know of any person being abused? Have you been a victim? What did you do? How was your case resolved?
It’s time to get talking and share our experience.




    Onome I must commend you for such a great write up. I must say you have just spoken the thoughts I have kept on my mind for so long. I grew up with a father that hardly beat up his kids and never beat up his wife, and this actually affected me positively. To be sincere why should you stay in a marriage were you don’t have a democracy of your own. Besides, I think we should also consider the type of woman involve in such marriages because it seems some women are troublesome which makes their husbands get furious per micro milliseconds. However, I am in total disagreement to women abuse in our society.

    1. Onome Oseha

      Thanks Wilson…..You have spoken well,i wish everyone has the opportunity of growing up under a father like yours.

  2. Erniesha Tibs

    Hello mami….So I just stumbled on this space and I read your previous posts and I must say you are really good. So I will sit tight on this space and look forward to another post….

    Tibs Tells Tales

    1. Onome Oseha

      Thanks a lot,please keep checking back for more and comment as often as you can.Thanks for the love

  3. Ifeoma Genny

    In my opinion the reason most women remain in an abusive relationship or marriage is not mostly cos of finance but societal pressure and stigmatization.

    they believe they would be looked down on by their friends, family, and acquaintances and as such remain in such relationships, sometimes even thinking they can change their spouse, if the truth be told is 99% difficult to change a matured adult if you are not the Holy Ghost that changes people.
    ladies should always be on the watch for the signs of an abuser when in a relationship.
    in essence instead of loosing your life in an abusive relationship cos of what the world will say, run as fast as you legs can carry you because if you die in it they will still play the blame game over your corpse. while you still have breathe save your live and mind your business, you owe no one any explanation, you are the CEO of your life.


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