A CHEATING PARTNER; NOT MY PORTION
That moment when others are talking about cheating partners and you are there wondering what they are talking about, saying to yourself; Oh i trust my man,he won’t cheat on me, oh I trust my woman, she won’t step out.
Often times, it’s safer to think our partner can not step out of line when in an exclusive relationship, we’ve placed them in a pedestal and can never imagine them cheating.You hear stories about cheating partners and you try to imagine what the other party didn’t do right which could have possibly led to being cheated on.
Although, we accept the possibility of partners cheating on each other, we just don’t want to accept it happening to us.We go out of our ways to do things right; trying to be there for our partners, loving, caring,having mutual respect.The relationship looks perfect and everything seems to be moving on smoothly between you two.
Then, all of a sudden, like a timed-bomb,he/she cheated and it all came crashing like a pack of cards. I know how it feels.That feeling of anger,rejection, betrayal and doubts is second to None.The hurt and heartbreak after being cheated on cannot be described, that feeling of your heart ripping out of your chest; the thought of where you both missed it and being at a loss to what the next line of action should be.
Now, let’s consider some of the ways to deal with a cheating partner;
1.DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF:You may probably try to access the situation and a part of you seems to be reminding you of what you didn’t do right, how you weren’t there when he needed you the most, the times that there were emotional disconnect between you two.You remember the times you argued and disagreed; you concluded that may have definitely pushed her into the waiting arms of another man.
You just can’t help but blame it on the times you allow work take priority, you come up with a million reasons why it is your fault your partner cheated.Stop it; doing this means you are trying to justify their infidelity.
Do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with acknowledging your faults but accepting that your faults led to your partner’s infidelity is a no no.
2..DO NOT BOTHER ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON: This is perhaps the worst thing you can do to yourself,you’re already emotionally bruised from the cheating and you take it a notch further by wanting to know who the other person is, what they look like and what they possess that you may be lacking that could have pushed your partner into their arms.
Your desire to want to stalk the other party won’t give you the needed closure on why you were cheated on,it will only make you feel bad about yourself.You may end up viewing yourself a failure; it’s just not worth it.
3.YOU NEED TO QUIT THE COMPETITION: Oh! You think you are so lucky to have discovered who the other party is, you spend hours on their social media handle trying to study them, trying to imagine what they could have done to have gotten your partner’s attention.
You are so drunk in love and self-blame that you think trying to be like the other person is a healthy step towards getting your partner back.Quit hurting yourself, competing with the other person is emotionally unhealthy, you are unique in your own ways.Stop trying to be like the other person, it won’t restore the love, trust and commitment you once shared.
4.YOU MAY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT: Most times, our first reaction on finding out about a partner’s infidelity is ending the relationship.It sounds logical considering the hurt, anger, resentment and betrayal felt.But you may need to take a moment to think about the situation, you need a clear head and then talk it over with your partner.
Doing this will give you an insight on how your partner really feels about you,how he feels about the affair and the other person.This will inform your next line of action.
5.TAKE A DECISION: Now, this part here seems to be one of the hardest point in every relationship.You are torn between moving on or fighting for your partner’s attention, you’ve never been this confused, you are wondering what people that know about the two of you would think.
You really need to take your time and make a decision.In the end, it’s all about what’s best for you and not what other people think, never allow their opinions affect your judgement and final decision.
Do you think it’s worth fighting for, do you think your partner would have cheated if they valued the relationship, is your partner sorry?.Do you think there is a possibility of it happening again? Are you ready to go through another round of hurt, anger, resentment and heartbreak when it happens?.These and more are some of the questions that should be asked before taking a decision.
In conclusion,it’s almost impossible to recover trust in a relationship when one or both partner cheat.You can both work towards rekindling the flame but oftentimes, it just doesn’t feel the same way.If your partner is the type that cheats, don’t beat yourself.It’s not a matter of what you did or didn’t do right.
If there is one thing every individual possesses,it is free-will; a person’s ability to decide to do or not do a thing.Your partner chose the one he/she feels they want or need as the case may be, it absolutely has nothing to do with what you did or didn’t do.
Do not forget; cheating is a choice, it’s never a mistake.Dealing with a cheating partner could be tricky but not impossible, you have to identify what went wrong from both sides and determine if you can work towards rebuilding the trust, you have to acknowledge the fact that the relationship may not be the same as it it was; it’s not going to be easy but whatever you do,never ever blame yourself.
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