Falling in love is one of the most beautiful experience in life; meeting someone you connect with on a deeper level  and going ahead to build a beautiful relationship with  everything looking rosy.He/she understands you, cares and always stands by you; your relationship becomes a sort of reference to every other person, you become the envy of other lovers.Nothing could ever go wrong….or so you thought but then it starts crumbling and it feels your whole world is shattering right before your eyes, you’re losing it and there’s nothing you can do about it; you’re helpless.You’ve tried all you can to mark it work but nothing seems to help; after so many months/years together with all efforts only to part ways, the damage done can haunt/disturb you for a long time to come.

Experiencing good love gone sour is bad; the pain lingers on for sometime no matter how strong you are, it doesn’t matter who is wrong or right, neither does the circumstances leading to the break-up determine how easy it is to heal properly from the emotional wounds experienced.Although time is the healer of wounds; the scars left behind while trying to move on does take a long time to fade off.

Who says you can’t move on after a break-up? Hard as it may seem, it is achievable; you only need to follow and apply the following concrete steps to facilitate the healing process:

1.ACCEPT IT IS NORMAL TO STILL LOVE YOUR ‘EX: It’s not an easy thing to totally eradicate the thoughts and feelings you had of your partner; accepting and forgetting is the most painful stage of healing and it doesn’t happen overnight.Remember you shared the deepest parts oof you with the person; you may have probably seen your love as a part of your future.

You need to know that the success of a relationship depends on so many other factors than love; values, conflict of interests, dreams, choices we make and timing are some other key factors.

Moving on isn’t always about totally ending the love you felt, it is about accepting the fact that you both want the best for each other even if it means letting go.

It is normal if you still find yourself loving your ex; no one said moving on will be so easy,the relationships we have last for life, they linger in the memory, in the feelings we have when we think about them, who/what we become because of their influence and the lessons we learnt from them.

2.GIVE IT TIME: As much as letting go and moving is paramount to healing fast from a broken heart; it sometimes appear more complicated than a lot of people think.

Time is said to be the healer of wounds; yes it is but trust me when I say some wounds take a longer time to heal and this is why you have to take all the time you need.Even if it lingers time can numb some of the pain you will be feeling during your healing process.

At this point I can bet you’re asking how much time we’re talking about here; does it mean it’s normal if my own time of healing span is for a lifetime? No no no….you can’t stop living because your relationship didn’t last for as long as you wanted it, you eventually will need to move on at some point.

3.LOVE YOURSELF MORE: Moving on from a relationship that didn’t work is all about loving yourself more and not wanting to hold on to what isn’t adding value to your existence and not begging for love and attention.
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Loving yourself is one of the best experience of life; truth is no one can love you as much as you love yourself.This may seem difficult but believing that you deserve to be with a partner who values and treats you well depends on how much you love yourself; you can’t expect someone else to treat you better than you treat yourself.

4.NEVER EVER BLAME YOURSELF: Blaming yourself is a total waste of time and energy; it  brings about a negative perception of oneself and delays the healing process. The fact that it didn’t work isn’t your fault and may not even be the fault of your partner either, why not quit the blame game and pick one or two lessons from what could have ended what you had.

Accepting your role in what could have gone wrong play a major role in moving on. Do not get me wrong; I said accepting your role and not blaming yourself because truth of the matter is the success of a relationship isn’t dependent on one person, it is a joint effort. Instead of blame you have to realize that  every relationship,if we let it, can teach us lessons and give clarity into the kind of person we are and how we can work  on getting better.

5. UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAD TO PART WAYS: Take out time to reflect on the relationship and why you had to call it quits, may have been a great relationship as you reminisce on the times shared, the memories and pleasant experiences and emotions.

You see yourself thinking about the good times and you’re wondering if it could have worked if you had put in more effort; taking out time to reflect shouldn’t be always about the good times alone, remember the bad times, memory and events.By doing this you get a clearer picture on why what you had came crashing like a pack of cards.

I am not saying you should hate this person but keep a constant reminder on why you had to call it quits and let the person go.

6. MEET NEW PEOPLE: ? Meeting new people doesn’t mean hopping into the bed of the next available guy; it entails breaking yourself free from the hold of your past relationship and getting to know other people.Now you need to make new friends you may not necessarily be having an emotional relationship with but more like hanging out.

This avails you the opportunity of getting to know and probably liking the person enough to want to go to the next level, this is a healthy step towards healing but no matter what you do, never look out for your ex in your new friend. This is unfair and very confusing, do not make such mistake.

 I know at some point we believe the person we are dating is the “one” and we celebrate the fact that we have found the love of our life and we think we can’t find someone better….Well that isn’t a bad thing but I want you to understand that as soon as you meet the love of your life every heartbreak, every hurt and every relationship blues becomes overshadowed.

People are one of the most important aspects of an individual’s life because they play prominent roles in our journey in life; they can make life sweet or turn it from sweet to sour.Relationship that started off great could end in pain or despair; it is not what you can predict, it almost catches us entirely by surprise and as such you need to keep an open mind and take whatever comes with it in good faith.

In conclusion, a relationship isn’t a failure just because it ended, if you learnt a lesson or two from it and you became a better person; it is a success and it served its purpose

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