WOULD YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER /SPOUSE ABOUT YOUR ADMIRERS?
It may perhaps be risky and unpredictable; it’s an uncertain situation we might have found ourselves at some point in our relationships. would you tell your partner/spouse that someone else admires you and has been making romantic moves at you?
In this present age and time social communications are a snap away, talk less of the office and other physical environments for face to face meeting, it is necessary to note that our public interactions would definitely attract the attention of members of the opposite sex who would find a romantic connection to us to be worthwhile for them and some of them that are bold enough actually dares the consequence to say so to us, not-withstanding the fact that some of them may even be aware that we are in a relationship.
What attracted us to our partner that made us fall in love with each can and will as well be seen by others who also appreciate the good things of life that we take pleasure in. it could be your partner’s dress sense, beauty, sense of humor, maturity, intelligence, poise and manner of approach e.t.c. Be rest assured that someone also notices those traits and admires them as much to want to have a share, that’s the law of nature.
It is reasonable that there’s nothing wrong in being admired, however the big question is, “‘would you tell your partner that someone, probably a well-known friend or colleague is romantically interested in you?’’ in my opinion, I tell all because I can’t be certain that I can uphold a pretense of lies and will be compelled to keep a similitude of normalcy in my relationship with the friend in the presence of my partner. However, I may not advise such because you have to be familiar with whom and the kind of person your partner is before you can say something like that to him or her.
Some people can’t deal with the fact that others find their partner admirable enough to want to date them. Most times they believe that something amorous might have transpired between their partner and the admirer because of their own insecurities as a person. Some people are not able to realize that it’s even a form of back handed compliment for other people to find their partner attractive enough to want to date them.
There was a particular dating couple, the guy was never interested in his girlfriend’s male friends. And anytime she discussed with him about another man being romantically interested in her, it usually ended up as a conflict between them, Even though she was not and had no intention of dating those male admirers. Unfortunately for him his fear eventually was the downfall of his relationship with the lady because she stopped discussing her admirers with him and gradually they started drifting apart and the relationship finally got wrecked when they stopped sharing vital and quality time with each other. The lady hid her personal life away from him eventually when she met someone else who she and her friends felt was more matured and secured about life, she was encouraged by all and sundry to move on.
That someone finds you attractive is no big deal, what matters most is how well you know your partner before discussing such issues with him / her to be sure you wouldn’t start a war that may destroy your relationship with your partner, because telling your partner about any of your romantic admirer may be potentially dangerous. You should watch what you say, how you say it and when you should even say it.
Being in a relationship or wearing an engagement ring or wedding band does not necessarily chase admirers away, as even pregnant women get admired often. It is only natural for people of the opposite sex who are not your blood relations to admire you and try to get intimate with you. You meet them everywhere – school, work, social gatherings and public places.
Although it is usual to have admirers, is it advisable to tell your partner about them? There is no direct answer to most of life’s question, as well as this. What one should do when faced with this challenge depends on the circumstances. Although you may not be right in predicting your partner’s reaction to such information, your decision to tell or not should depend on your perception of how your partner would handle the information.
Another determinant in deciding whether to tell or not is the possibility that your partner can get the information from another person. In such case, your failure to tell him / her about the admirer would be interpreted as cheating on your partner / spouse, it is only natural to believe or imagine that you are having a crush with the admirer if you keep the advances from your partner.
Nevertheless, the bitter truth is that many men cannot handle information about their partners’ admirers. Some will track down the admirers to caution or hurt them while others may resort to treat their partner with distrust and disrespect. With such depressing and insensitive reaction, you really cannot blame those who decide to keep their admirer’s antics to themselves. Marriage counselors’ often advice that partners should disclose information about their admirers, especially those in their work places, to their spouses. The reason for this advice is that such revelation would keep you accountable to your spouse and would enable your spouse to assist you in managing the nearby admirer, lest you fall prey. This mode of accountability cannot work in all situations. People differ and react to information in different ways.
WISDOM IS THE KEY: It is not an easy decision, however transparency is the safe haven, but wisdom should be applied. You can mention the admirers casually without giving too many details. In doing so, always keep a straight face discuss it only when there is no nervousness. Also, ensure that the admirers’ names are not mentioned often. Always show your partner that he / she is your one and only love, every human being needs affirmation so don’t deprive your partner of his /her own share. Do not give information that will cause unnecessary strain in your relationship. Also, always choose the right place, time and words to use.
Would inform your partner about your admirers???
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