TOP 5 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T PREFER ONE CHILD TO ANOTHER
Do you flourish one child with praises and appreciation while openly criticizing and condemning the other? Do you give one attention while ignoring the other? Do you know that preferring one child to another is sheer wickedness? It’s also a form of abuse and very harmful not only to the less preferred but also to the favoured one.
Do you know that when you favour one child over another you might unconsciously be gratifying your selfishness? You may wonder what I am talking about…..it is common knowledge that most parents subconsciously appreciate a child who Tows the family tradition or one who brings your dream and aspiration to pass? For instance….as a parent you have always wanted your child to become a lawyer or doctor as the case may be just because you have always admired a certain doctor or lawyer and you were not opportuned to become one and one of your children is seriously rooting to study one of the aforementioned course, do you know that there are so many chances of always wanting to do things for the one who wants to bring your dreams to fruition much more than others who do not.
Favoritism comes in different shapes and even though we may do it unconsciously, we should always be conscious of its effects on our young ones.Always strive to appreciate your children based on their individual unique, special traits and personally.
It even gets worse when the less preferred does everything imaginable just to get a parent(s) appreciation or acknowledgement, when he/she goes out of her/his ways just to do things for daddy and mummy to take note of them and they get shoved aside but the preferred one gets attention all day long.
Come with me as I show you the damaging effects associated with preferring one child to another;
1.Attitude Problems: The favored/preferred child grows up feeling so superior over others and sees every other person around her as unimportant and with no value.He has an Inflated ego of himself.
The less preferred on the other hand grows up feeling very unimportant.He/she grows up defeated with a negative and deflated mindset of himself/herself.
2.Negative Approach To Life: Oftentimes when a child does wrong and parents overlook the wrongdoings because he is the preferred one; that child grows with the mindset that he can get away with so many wrongs, he feels assured that mummy and daddy is there to take care of his shortcomings…..we all know these type of children put their parents in so much trouble in the long run.
3. A Search For Love And Appreciation In Wrong Places: As a parent who is so engulfed in favoritism, have you ever wondered how the child you shove aside feels or is feeling? Do you know that there is every possibility that this child will grow with a wrong and warped idea about Love and care. Do you know such children seek for appreciation, love and care in the wrong places and eventually become victims of abuse.
4. Life Long Scar Which May Grow Into Hatred: I know you may probably care less if the unpreferred hates you and has a negative attitude towards you, I know to you all that may matter is how the preferred feels about you and treats you, but you need to make a conscious effort and think for once how the less preferred will feel about life and humanity.
5.Siblings Rivalry: Your self gratification has a negative effect; more like a time-bomb waiting to explode.Do you know how worse siblings rivalry can get? Do you know it can develop from one generation to another? Do you know it can destroy an entire family and community? Do you know the less preferred can grow up hating the preferred whom she thinks doesn’t deserve all the praises, appreciation and love? Do you know favoritism can lead to one child killing his/her siblings just because he/she feels that the only way to get your attention is to get the preferred one out of the way?
Never forget that every child is unique and has his special traits, always appreciate these things about them especially when they go out of their ways to get mom’s and dad’s appreciation, let them feel the love you have for them.Correct them in love whenever they make mistakes and try as much as possible never to compare one child to another.
Love is unconditional but preferring one child to another is very much conditional. Do not forget that the children are our future.
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