THE EX-FACTOR

Being in a relationship and doing everything to make it work is work enough but having to deal with a partner who hasn’t got over his/her ex puts more constraints on an individual.
I know how difficult it may seem to get over an individual with whom you have shared lots of interesting memories but it is also not a good feeling when you put the new person in your life through the bitter phase of having to understand and deal with a partner who is still very much engrossed in his past, making him/her feel he is not worth your love and care even though he is the new person in your life.
Relationship is better appreciated and enjoyed when the two people involved are so much Into each other without any interference in form of a ghost from the past.
There is a reason why a relationship that didn’t work is called a past relationship,let it be in the past.No one deserves the constant reminder and insecurity of knowing that the person they are dating is physically with them but his/her heart belongs to another.

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I know emotions are involved,no one is judging you.We all understand that it is not so easy to let go of a person you’ve grown used to.But do not expect the new person In your life to always understand why you can’t seem to get over your ex, I am sure you will feel worse if the tables were turned.
Never make the new person in your life feel like a rebound,it is not a good feeling.
  If you still think about your ex when you do not intend to,if you constantly relieve happy memories with the person while forgetting the bad ones, you need to make a conscious effort to purge yourself of him/her.
If thoughts of him gets you angry,frustrated and agitated, you still have a lot of work to do towards letting go.
Always remember that if you subject yourself to a world of mental and emotional hostage by subconsciously holding on to the past, you loose out on having new and better things in life.Stop thinking of what could have been.

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Though your past may have been your first true love there is a reason it didn’t work with him,forget what folks say about finding true love once in a lifetime.You can get over it,other people in your position were able to move on,You can too.
To help in your journey of letting go,here are a few tips;
1.LOVE YOURSELF:No one can love you as much as you.If you love yourself,you will realise that ending it was the best decision.
2.STOP THINKING ABOUT WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN:I know you would have made some plans while the going was still good, it is over now, stop thinking about how beautiful those plans would have turned out,accept that is over and move on.
3.ACCEPT HE IS NOT THE ONE FOR YOU:Yes, you have conditioned your mind to thinking he is the only one for you and you believe no one else can love you as much as he did.You think you can’t get what you guys shared with another person.That is a lie from the pit of hell,if he is right for you, you guys wouldn’t have gone your separate ways.

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4.STOP THE COMPARISONS:You will only hurt yourself more if you continue to compare your past with your present, stop looking at the pros and cons of your ex and the new person in your life.Quit wishing the new person in your life has same attributes as your ex .No two persons are the same, not even twins.
5.TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS:It is at this point that you need close friends and family the most. Talk to them and you might just see one or two people who have been through what you are going through,their advice on moving on might just be what you need to regain your sanity.
  You need to work towards moving on, love will always find you.It only depends on you, do you want to continue living in the shadow of your ex or do you want to experience a new phase of love again.Give yourself another chance to experience love again, you might just have a better experience than your past. In the words of  F. Scott Fitzgerald;

There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same twice.

1 Comment

  1. Charles

    After reading this.. i sighed..
    Interesting write up, deep, thoughtful..

    I can definitely identify with this, if am not the basis for it in the first place.. hmmm

    Reply

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