BABY MAMA DRAMA: ADULTS PLAYING VICTIMS

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Change they say is the only constant thing and I’ve seen so many changes in my generation as against the way it used to be, changes in values, changes in lifestyle and legacy.

Family as a unit has lost it’s values. I miss the good old days when a man sees a woman he likes and tries to woo her, the woman “playing hard to get” even if she really likes the man in question. I miss those days when girls were frightened at the thought of getting pregnant out of wedlock for fear of what will become of them, the fear of what her parents will do, the kind of shame her being pregnant will bring on her parents and family made every girl sensible.

I am stuck in a generation that applauds and celebrate decadence in moral values. This generation seems to have lost their bearing and it gets worse by the day with the elders who are supposed to point out these wrong decisions, are the ones showing off in a bid to establish who is more powerful.
Gone are the days when a single lady gets pregnant and maintains a low profile for the fear of being judged or laughed at, having a child out of wedlock now seems to me in vogue.

The heartbreaking part is, the more we celebrate this phenomenon the more people are encouraged to tow the line. We forget the younger ones are watching and learning from us.

You hear people saying it’s no longer a biggie having a child outside wedlock. Of course, it is a big deal, having and raising a child is a whole lot of responsibility on its own. A child needs love, care, attention and protection that is best got under a good family system and support.

The social media has been agog this two last days of the year 2015, with the baby mama drama surrounding David Adeleke (Davido), a popular Nigeria musician, accusations and counter-accusations have been flying around and all I can think of is,  “what were they expecting?” This is what you get in a generation that think our parents were local and old school for considering marriage before starting a family.

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I read through the musician’s reply and  his idea of a defense is, calling out his baby mama Sophia Momodu. He has been tarnishing her image online, while trying to justify his actions claiming his naivety was manipulated and exploited. While trying to come across as the good guy, he shot himself on the foot.

As a matter of fact, no reasons can justify your act of wanting to take a child outside the shores of this country without the mother’s knowledge and consent. Imade the little baby is less than eight months old. It’s as though you are trying to eliminate her from the equation and the result of your indiscretions.

Am I the only one curious to know why a man will readily accept to pay a monthly upkeep fee of N300, 000, to a baby mama who doesn’t have custody of his child? Am I the only one who thinks there was a sort of agreement on the part of the people involved for the mother to have left her suckling child with a family she claims forcefully took her child from her?

Is it now a craze for ladies to want to have children for our celebs? I guess am not in tune with the new fashion, I can’t seem to understand why ladies will accept every form of humiliation thrown their way just to have the title of the baby mama.

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  The case of the highlife crooner “Flavour” with two baby mamas is intriguing. Two beautiful women who have potentials of being great women allowing themselves be pawn in the hands of a man who doesn’t care about them and their feelings or reputation, subjecting themselves to emotional and psychological breakdown. I took a look at Anna Banner and I want to imagine what she must be passing through in moments like this. Sandra is also another woman am deeply concerned about, I don’t know what it feels to be denied by a man one is allegedly married to.  Whether he got married to either of them is not an issue, the truth is they have both agreed to be actors in this game of heads and tails with the musician being the director.

That is what happens when you give men the impression that there is a gold mine around him that you are coming to tap? What happens to working for your own money? Why do you think he disrespect you and treats you as though you are worth nothing? Well, to him you are actually nothing without his financial support.

I am not going to be sanctimonious or holier-than-thou, we know sex is fun and enjoyable, enjoy it wisely; do not complicate life by bringing in an innocent soul into the picture. Once a child is involved, it ceases to be about either of you, it is all about the soul who didn’t beg to be brought to life, you made that decision and you have to own up to the responsibility of your five minute  of pleasure and romance. It doesn’t matter whether you are married or not, you have shared responsibilities now, deal with it and stop throwing blames. It is not a case of who is right or wrong; can you just pause for a second and consider the beautiful seed that came out from whatever it is you both choose to call what you had?

To the people involved in this spectacle (Flavour & Davido), we know you are both famous and can individually hold your own, can you please leave aside the wealth and affluence and join hands in giving the beautiful result of your loved ones relationship the best she can get and also respect to the women involved. It’s not the child’s fault that all these are happening. It’s not a game of wits or that of who has more powers; you all need to sheath your swords.

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